Author: cgul(weeeeeeee)
Release date: unknown

This is the WEEKLY UPDATE vol. 8
(WUUT = Weekly Update for Unreal Tournament. A review of the top stories from the past week in the world of UT that really matter to you!)

* Publisher back online..but the paper is in short supply. This will be a short version this week.

* TOP STORY: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS NOOBEATER? Cgul during the tor2 got a chance to take this picture of the noobeater!

We are sending some people down to get an interview soon!

* The FOOD, AMMO n' BABY Supplies STORE: Construction has started again due to the great efforts of the friends of dessloch and missy. Here is a candid shot of the building and how it is progressing >>This close-up picture<< We are very close to having this thing built!
Catering for TOR2 has been good. People have been sending in good feedback about the food and the catering services.

* The editors deeply regret the lack of quality and fun in this issue. We are working hard at training some new, high quality writers and entertainers! Stay tuned for some better stuff this friday at the regularly scheduled WUUT time. We are however blessed with a great article by Zaphod which follows. Please enjoy!


Zaphod's Interview with the top players
An interview of ares:

Q. Can you offer any insight on who is going to win the tory since you
are part of UT demo's coding and are on all player/s CPU's?
A. I not know. All good players play against Dessloch..

Q. Why do the good players play dessloch?
A. They think I mean.

Q. Why do the players think you are mean
A. Come closer and ask that...

Q. Why should I co- Argh!!!!
A. Cool! I hits one for once!
*Reloads Launcher*
*Reporter respawns*

Q. That wasn't nice. why did you do that?
A. 'coause I felt like it.

Q. Why are you so mea- ARGHHHHH!

Well, that about raps up this weeks interview... lets hope in ut2 they
make ares a little nicer. And maybe a little smarter- Argh!

*Multi Kill!*

* Dessloch and Missy's "Food, Ammo n' Baby Supply" is looking for a short order cook, a dishwasher, and a diaper changer. Please attach your resumes to the end of this post, or send us some of the food that you have cooked! STILL NOT FILLED! We are doubling the salary for those who get hired! Now we are adding a Jeep!

UPDATES From LAST WEEK's Newsletter

* TOR2:: CGUL didn't do too badly in TOR2 though he flapped around alot he score was still positive at the end of the game!


* We all send our deepest condolences to spectre's wife and children. Too soon..

That is all for this week.

(back issues available for a small fee, very small, insignificantly small, so small you would barely even notice.)

Submissions for the WEEKLY UPDATE maybe sent somewhere.
*** Disclaimer, most, if not all of this is a complete fabrication of a very strange mind, and now, possibly even more.